It’s Alive!
Our associate editor Gene Mattecheck Jr. had the following published in the Dispatch- Argus today. The set up is his as well. The QCTimes on the other hand might have printed it thinking it a concise reflection from an erudite Democrat reader.
Gene’s notes:
2 things to note, “tRump” is not a misspelling. Someone used it as an intentional play on his name, accentuating the “Rump” part of Trump.
Secondly I did not use “Tramp” as that was a mistake in a headline and not a jab in a letter or comment.
This letter was a hoot to write. I’ve read so many crazy, nonsensical anti-Trump letters, I thought, “I can do a better Trump-hating letter than a Trump-hater.” I went through a year’s worth of letters and comments, cutting phrases and derogatory taunts. I pasted them into a word program and then made a Frankenstein letter. Add an opening and a closing; “It’s Alive!!!”
Dear Editor (D-A)
When conceptualizing a letter, I try to be cogent, thought-provoking, and original. Not today. I’m composing this farcical parody using childish nicknames and random derisive adjectives. EVERY WORD was culled from anti-Trump letters/comments in The Dispatch.
Donald The Destroyer’s a completely amoral man. Our orange president’s a narcisist who’s totally obsessed with money. A mentally unbalanced reality show participant, Trump’s blatantly unqualified, with no relevant experience or ability. This rogue, clueless, Grand Canyon-sized potty-mouthed clown is the most despicable man to run for president.
An unapologetic adulterer, Trumpy McCrotchGrab’s, a vile, bullying misogynist. Don-the-Con, a nonreligious, so-called Christian, lies constantly and endorsed a known accused pedophile.
Herr Drumpf’s a simple-minded, autocratic strongman. Draft-dodging Cadet Bonespurs, is unpatriotic as any flag burner. Russia’s President Putin is Trump’s idol. Cowardly Donald, Vladimir’s sycophantic puppet, promulgates bellicose nationalism and a draconian foreign policy. tRump advocates nativism, oligarchy, white patriarchy, and a racist agenda.
The moronic chumps who voted for treasonous Trump enabled a monster, a despotic fascist. Trumpites are good little Nazi wannabes, just like their president. Mimicking brownshirts, Trumpers support pedophiles, perverts, and wife abusers. DJT’s white-privileged worshipers exhibit ego-centric plundering and trickery.
Captain Combover, our homophobic liar-in-chief, shamed the office of the presidency exponentially. This unfit, cesspool’s leaving a despicable legacy. Comrade Trumpkin will NEVER be my President! Pray fervently for this fool’s impeachment.
This anti-Trump essay is purely satirical, yet some will say, “Gene’s depiction of that Cheeto-skinned dictator is the best ever!”
That’s not easy to pull off.
Eugene Mattecheck Jr. Moline
Actually, I’ve been writing to the Dispatch for so long that I have a good working relationship with the letter’ people. There have been changes at the top since the Lee takeover, but some of the old-guard are good people. The QC Times is another thing. I correspond with them in the same way, but they never respond, and always seem to have to edit out just a small bit, usually a nice point. Not enough to make a stink over, just enough to annoy me.